I felt like God led me to Oregon. Now that I am here, I barely have any friends, I'm failing out of graduate school, and I'm incredibly lonely. Some of my old 'friends' never contact me like they said they would. Out of sight, out of mind I guess.

So If I am not able to be competitive for obtaining a PhD, they'll still let me go for a master's degree. Not as prestigious, certainly make me swallow my pride. But I can live with that part. I'm not sure how things will work out, and that scares me. Does God have a different direction for me? If so, when will that new door open? Right when it needs to? Possibly. Leaving me to stress and worry, like the silly human I am. Why can't I put my trust in God that things will work out.

I just don't know if I'm cut out to be a PhD. I knew it was hard, but I was confident that I could handle the challenge. Now, not so much. So should I try to continue with the PhD, 'settle' for a MS, or just cut my losses and run? Who knows. Maybe time will tell, maybe not. Perhaps God is leaving the decision up to me. Maybe He's waiting for me to wake up and trust Him.

I just don't know...